I found this online, through StumbleUpon. I am not sure of the source, but I enjoyed the life advise.
- There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.
- Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
- Don’t knock it ’til you try it.
- If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
- Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government
- When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
- DON’T underestimate free throws in a game of HORSE.
- Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
- Don’t dumb it down.
- You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
- If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.
- Never park in front of a bar.
- Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
- Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first girl/boyfriend.
- Hold your heroes to a high standard.
- A suntan is earned, not bought.
- Never lie to your doctor.
- All guns are loaded.
- Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.
- The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if its only once.
- Take a vacation from your cell phone, internet and TV once a year.
- Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.
- A handshake beats an autograph.
- Don’t linger in the doorway, in or out.
- If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.
- IF you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
- Never get your haircut the day of a special event.
- Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.
- Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
- When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.
- Eat lunch with the new kids.
- When traveling, keep your wits about you.
- It’s never too late for an apology.
- Don’t pose with booze.
- If you have the right of way, take it.
- You don’t get to choose your own nickname.
- When you marry someone, remember, you marry their entire family.
- Never push someone off a dock.
- Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she is pregnant.
- It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry, live up to it.
- Don’t make a scene.
- When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
- Know when to ignore the camera.
- Never gloat.
- Invest in great luggage.
- Make time for your mom on your birthday, it’s her special day too.
- When opening presents, no one likes a guesser.
- Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.
- Give credit. Take Blame.
- Suck it up every now and again.
- Never be the last one in the pool.
- Don’t stare.
- Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
- Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.
- If you’ve made your point, stop talking.
- Admit it when you’re wrong.
- If you off to help don’t quit until the job is done.
- Look people in the eye when you thank them.
- Thank the bus driver.
- Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
- Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
- Know at least one good joke.
- Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.
- Know how to cook one good meal.
- Learn to drive a stick shift.
- Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.
- It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.
- Dance with your father/mother.
- Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.
- Always thank a host.
- If you don’t understand, ask before its too late.
- Know the size of your boyfriend/girlfriends clothes.
- There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.
- Be a good listerner. Don’t just take your turn to talk.
- Keep your word.
- In college always sit in front. You’ll stand out immediately. Come grade time it might come in handy.
- Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for 9 months.
- Be patient with airport security. They are just doing their job.
- Don’t be the talker in a movie.
- The opposite sex likes people who shower.
- You are what you do. Not what you say.
- Learn to change a tire.
- Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.
- An hour with your grandparents is well spent. Ask for advise when you need it.
- Don’t litter.
- If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
- You won’t always be the strongest or fastest. But you can be the toughest.
- Never call someone before or after 9 AM and 9 PM.
- Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
- Make the little things count.
- Always wear a bra at work.
- There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.
- You’re never too old to need your mom.
- Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.
- Know the words to your national anthem.
- Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.
- Smile at strangers.
- Make Goals.
- Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.
- If you HAVE to fight, punch first and punch hard.
Burn the Boats! 